If for some reason you didn’t know that 8-fest was this weekend, you need to get out of the shell you crawled inside and get ready to rage. This post will help you bro out to the fullest for 8-fest, because that one day is unlike every other, especially if the weather is poor, which is usually the case.
8-Fest is the one day where the dustier your dress game is, the more bro you will appear. We take pride on having a clean wardrobe for other fests and any other time being seen in public in general, but this is our day off, and we can get real wild with it.
Last year, I thought it was just another fest. So with that in mind I put on my purple and yellow #12 John Stockton throwback and hit the field ready to get rowdy with my bros, but when I showed up they were all stunned. “I can’t believe you wore that… it is going to get ruined.” Sure as schnitzel by the end of the day it was COVERED in mud, along with the $45 pair of adidas shorts I had on and $60 high-top adidas kicks I was stompin’ around in. The moral of the story is do not risk your most bro pieces of apparel. Keep it real dusty, because then you can go as hard as possible and not care about the mud. Last year, some jacked rando, whose sleeves apparently called in sick that day, approached me and simply said, “you’re going in that lake.” I turned and saw a man made lake of mud. Knowing my fate had been chosen by Macho Man Randy Savage here, I obliged. He generously gave me a 5 second countdown to get rid of my wallet, phone, and keys… Thanks buddy.
So here is what I recommend for the wardrobe if you want to set the bar as high as possible:
Kicks: I know a lot of us are on budgets, but I honestly recommend going to Wal-Mart and buying some EZ-Striders, or sneak into your Grandmothers house and take her pair. They are super dusty… but in the best way.
Socks: I am a mid-calf guy until i die, but i’m sayin either go ankle or if you really want to get crazy, knee-high socks. When white midcalfs get tanked in mud it’s super difficult to get out, so put them on hold for Saturday.
Shorts: I wore white shorts last year, because I am an absolute idiot, don’t do that. Once again though, wear something you don’t mind if you completely ruin, because more than likely they’ll end up in the trash. Or steal a pair of your roommates shorts and say you have the same pair, because that’s just hysterical.
Shirt: Three words here… “Shirts Off Saturday.”
The Rest: I suggest you leave the shades at home, because those are probably going to get scuffed up somehow. I also completely ruined my yellow pirates hat last year… so I would let the flow rage (remember the rules of overflow are excluded for fests).
And remember bro’s… it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Oh that’s right we sprint marathons.
Bro Hard OU.
P.S. I’m on stage at noon with Ice Possible so get there early!